What Hurts the most
by Arabelle Thorne
Summary: Wilson song fic to a rascal flatts song. Please R&R!


….This will be my first attempt at a "song fic". Please pardon the sucky-ness

Starts out pre Wilson divorce I OWN NOTHING HERE!

NOTE: I OWN NOTHING! NOT HOUSE PEOPLE! NOT RASCAL FLATTS NOTHING…..no that that's clear….Please enjoy! ;)

Wilson sat in front of his computer. Lightning hissed through the black sky and thunder rattled the windows of the house. Rain pounded the roof as though it wished to gain entrance out of the storm also. He stared at the screen for a long time but he saw nothing on it. In his minds eye he saw Julie. But when he turned around she wasn't there. She was gone again presumably at a bridal shower that ended two hours ago. Once again James Wilson was all by himself.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

James sighed. He switched off the computer and laid on his bed. He turned an stared at the pictures that hung on the wall. Tears rolled down his cheek he rolled onto his stomach and cried into his pillow. It felt better to cry then not to. When he cried other things hurt besides his heart.

_I can take a few tears no and then and just let them out_

_I'm not afraid to cry every once and a while_

Wilson entered House's office the next day his eyes bloodshot and his face blotchy

"You alright" House asked softly. James closed his eyes lightly and nodded his head. When he spoke his voice was tired and rough.

"Yeah…..I'm fine….thanks for asking." House studied him taking in the mussed hair and the wrinkled shirt and nodded slowly

"If you say so" He didn't believe his friend for one minute. But maybe pretending would help.

_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me _

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok_

_But that's not what gets me_

James cooked dinner when he got home. He sat in the living room and waited late until she entered.

"I made dinner if you want anything" She gave him an icy glare out of instinct and then nodded hiding the ice by closing her eyes.

"Alright honey. Thanks" Wilson could have sworn he could see her breathe.

She jogged up the stairs and re-appeared a few minutes later dressed in a sweater and jeans as opposed to the skirt and tight shirt she had entered with. She handed him an envelope

"James… I can't stay here anymore" James was frozen. Numbly he took the envelope from her. She walked away as Wilson opened his mouth to talk but the words just couldn't come out.

_What hurts the most _

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

Several months later James hadn't yet found a place. He slept on Greg's couch. He just couldn't get another place. That would finalize his failure. He didn't think he could stand to fail again.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go _

_But I'm doing It_

James walked down the street not sure where he was going, lost in his mind, when he heard his name being called out.

"James! Wait! Hey James! "He turned and saw a small slightly plump young red haired women running up to him. She hugged him tightly

"Oh I haven't seen you or Julie in ages! How are you doing? Any kids yet?" She smiled happily, like a young innocent child. James looked down his eyes filling with sadness.

"We…we're …we're divorced now…." She hugged him again tightly

"Oh you poor thing! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have even said anything! I-"

"Liz…It's alright. There's no way you could have known. He forced a smile. "I'm fine otherwise. How are you doing? Do you want you want to go get something to drink & tell me what you have been up to? I'm willing to bet you've gotten yourself in trouble in the last year." The young women agreed and they both had a coffee as she told him a years worth of adventures and mishaps.

"The best thing to do is move on hon. That's the only way things will get better again." She told him as she stared at his sad eyes. He forced another smile.

"Your right…as usual….I just…I can't just forget her…it hurts to much for that. I just messed up o much to forgive myself

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder _

_Getting up, getting dressed livin' with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart _

_That I left unspoken_

That night Wilson tossed and turned as he slept on the couch. His usual nightmare taunting him. He saw Julie, her face red with anger and determination. He saw that envelope that hadn't left his dreams since it touched his fingers. He saw Julie walking off and felt his mouth open but no words came out. He always awoke here, at the peak of helplessness. He cried. He cried because he knew he had been the end of this marriage. Her affair was his fault he reasoned, because he hadn't spent enough time with her. He longed to go back in time. So that he could say everything he wanted to but couldn't.

_And what hurts the most _

_Was being so close _

_And having so much to say _

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing what could have been_

_And never seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

_THE END _

Authors note: sorry it sucked guys! Anyway this is being posted so that GOOD writers (unlike me) can tell me what the heck I did wrong! I seriously have no idea why it sucks this badly! So……review, and tell me how I am going to fix this! And sorry if this was ooc. I can't think well when I'm sick! SORRY!

Love A. Thorne (in the sides of many!)


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